Spinnit’ To Winnit’ – Australia Is Having An Election!

By: Nick Rodham Churchill

For those of you who don’t closely follow the news in Australia (so most of you) there is an Election on!  While there are many parties full of many “ideas,” the “big two” seem to be doing all they can to say as much as possible and yet seem to be saying nothing at all.  This year is a bit different for Oz – there is a woman at the top of the ticket.  While this is something that would stun, shock, and inspire Americans (or probably even Canadians) Australians claim it matters very little to them.  Still, when I get to my “Election spinning – I mean winning – themes in a second, you’ll see why I simultaneously don’t believe that’s the case.

There’s been the usual kissing babies (no, literally, the news has a “baby-kissing” counter and they’re keeping a running tally of which leader – Gillard or Abbott – kisses more babies) and moral-filled proclamations of the highest refuditude (did you see what I did there?  I made up a word.  It’s all the political rage now).  On paper these two leaders seem quite different.  Gillard is an un-married, childless red-head who has been at the heart of Labour’s left for 20 years.  Abbott is a devoutly Catholic, short, balding man who just competed in a major triathlon and says curse words on a regular basis.  He’s wildly entertaining.  So then, you’d think their policies would be quite different as well.  Well, they’ve been spun as such.  Labour is all about “Moving Australia Forward” while the Liberals are “Standing Up For Australia.”  See.  Quite different.  And on the issues, well…

Jobs:

Labour: We’ll create them.  We promise.

Liberal: We’ll reduce taxes.  That’ll create them.

Labour Laws:

Labour: We invented them.

Liberal: We won’t change them.

Green Energy:

Labour: Tax Carbon.

Liberal: That’s not the answer, but we’re not going to tell you what is.

Immigration:

Labour: You’re not racist for hating asylum seekers.  Lets secure our borders.

Liberal: We’re pretty-much racist.  Lets secure our borders.

Outfits:

Labour: “Gillard was out today in a lovely polka-dot ensemble complete with red chiffon top.  The pearls were back, as were the high heels.”

Liberal: <Cue Silence>

So then, what’s the difference?  Well, one of them is a lady and she’s wearing pretty clothes.  Oh, and her partner is a former hair stylist who does a mean blow dry at 4:30am.  And that is how you win an Election!

Photo Courtesy Of: http://www.smh.com.au/federal-election/kristinas-stinky-government-wont-make-julia-on-the-nose-20100719-10gxt.html?rand=1279507516610

Same Story, Different Storyteller

By: Nick Rodham Churchill

For those of you who don’t [shockingly] follow Australian politics, arguably the biggest political kung fu in years took place one week ago today.  Kevin Rudd, the once most popular Prime Minister (PM) in Australian history was ousted by his Deputy, the brilliant and masterful Julia Gillard.  It was a brilliant execution (the whole thing unfolded in less than 12 hours) and the first of it’s kind; Kevin Rudd was still a first-term Prime Minister and ousted not by the Opposition, but by HIS OWN PARTY.

The reasons given were simple.  K-Rudd, has he was called, had been straying off course.  It was a government that had “lost its way.”  True, the evidence was there.  in 6 months K-Rudd had tanked in the polls faster than almost any PM in history.  A general election loss was at stake against the Liberals, which would have meant a horrific change of course.  A few recent decisions really hadn’t gone over well with the public, and K-Rudd was pretty terrible when it came to dealing with the media.

Okay, so Special K is out, big J Gill is in.  First, history is made.  First female Prime Minister.  Woohoo!  Next, major policy changes, right?  Not so much.  Immediately we heard there would be changes to the mining tax, the most controversial leftover from Mr. Rudd.  Oops, not so fast.  The government is just “swinging open its doors” to negotiation.  Certainly we’d refocus other key issues.  Instead, it’s all about “consultations” and “new approaches,” but not a whole lot of change in terms of real policy (most of which J Gill was central in creating with Captain K).

Regardless, the press and the country seem to be eating up every last word, believing wholeheartedly that this is a “new direction” for the party, the government, and the country.  So then, what changed?  The spin.  The packaging.  The perception of reality is what changed.  All it took was a new face and a thesaurus and BOOM, a “brand new day.”  You do have to take your hat off to Madame Prime Minister though.  In one foul swoop she cut off the past, reinvent the present, spin the futre, and creat a whole new headache for the opposition.  Well done Julia.  Well done.

Photo Courtesy of: http://images.theage.com.au/2009/01/02/338501/gillard-420×0.jpg